Kit's Year As A Buccaneer
by FanMan93
Summary: A series of stories about Kit's time with the air pirates. Rated K just to be safe, very slim chance of it changing later.
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: Talespin and it's characters are property of Disney, I own nothing!**

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It was a quiet day in Cape Suzette. Baloo and Rebecca were away for the weekend on a business trip (probably driving each other crazy, but that's neither here nor there), Molly was staying at Higher For Hire with Kit and Wildcat, though whether Wildcat was babysitting Molly and Kit, or Kit was babysitting Molly and Wildcat was debatable. Toys were scattered all around the office, Molly and Wildcat were playing while Kit sat behind Rebecca's desk reading a book for school, glancing up now and then to make sure they weren't tearing apart the office too much.

Molly was running around with a toy plane with a teddy bear sitting on top "Ace pilot Baloo making a special delivery!" She declared "Doobity-doo, doobity-doo, dooby dooby dooby dooby doobity-doo." She imitated Baloo's singing.

"Hey, aren't you forgetting someone?" Asked Kit.

"Oh yeah!" Said Molly grabbing another teddy bear and balancing it on a boomerang "And right behind him is his trusty navigator, and world class cloud surfer, Kit Cloudkicker!"

"That more like it." said Kit.

"Uh-oh here come the pirates!" Said Wildcat, rushing over with a football to stand in for the _Iron Vulture_ , and stuffed dog to play Don Karnage "Hey Baloo it's me, Don Karnage, gimme your cargo or I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your plane down!"

Molly giggled "You don't do a very good Don Karnage, Wildcat"

"She's right." Said Kit getting up to join the fun "Let me show how it's done!" he took the Karnage dog and a letter opener from Rebecca's desk and made the dog poke the Baloo teddy bear in the tummy "Greetings and salivations, Baloo-type person" He said in a perfect imitation of Karnage's accent "It is I, the dread pirate Don Karnage! You will be handing your cargo over to my magnifulous self, or I will hang you by your pinkies, yes-no?"

"Wow Kit, you do a really good Karnage!" Said Wildcat.

"Really, really good!" Added Molly.

"I lived with Karnage for a year," Replied Kit "Spend enough time working for someone you learn to mimic them, you should hear Baloo do Miz Cunningham."

"Kit, what was it like being a pirate?" Asked Molly.

"Yeah, what was it like?" Asked Wildcat.

"Hmm, how to describe it?" Replied Kit "Did you ever do something you knew was wrong, and you felt guilty about it, but at the same time it was really exciting and fun?"

"Like when I sneak onto the _Sea Duck_?" Said Molly.

"Sort of like that I guess." Said Kit "But imagine you didn't have a mom to get mad at you, you never get in trouble, you just keep doing bad things, and every day you feel a little bit worse about about and it becomes a little bit less fun, until one day you wake up and there's no fun anymore, just guilt. That's what it was like being a pirate."

"Oh. But it was fun at first?" Asked Molly.

"Well yeah" Replied Kit "You know when you're a pirate there's only two rules, do what the captain says, and don't make him mad! Other than that you can do whatever you want, no bedtimes, no school, you don't have to take baths, you don't have to eat your vegetables, or anything! Oh, and I was smarter than the rest of the crew combined, that was neat."

"But weren't the other pirates mean to you?" Asked Wildcat.

"Sometimes, but not as much as you'd think." Said Kit "Karnage actually liked me, which was weird, and no one wanted to be caught messing with the captains favorite."

"Kit, tell me a story about when you were a pirate." Said Molly.

"I better not." Kit told her "I've probably said too much already. Your mom wouldn't like me filling your head with ideas about a life of crime being fun."

"Yeah, she might get real mad!" Said Molly "Almost as mad as she'd be if knew about last week, when she let me go on that cargo run with you and Baloo, and you took me for a ride on your air foil, even though she said it was too dangerous!"

"That's blackmail!" exclaimed Kit.

"I know" replied Molly with an adorably devious smile.

"Maybe _you_ should be a pirate! Don't tell your mom I said that!" Kit sighed "Alright I'll tell you some stories."

"Oh boy story time!" Said Wildcat clapping.

"Once upon a time, I was a pirate, and I never had to take orders from a six year old!"

"Well you do now!" Molly told him "So get to it!"

"OK." Said Kit "Lets see, where to begin?

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 **So that's it for the prologue. Not the most interesting part, I know, but the actual stories are better. Anyway, please R &R!**


	2. How Kit Joined The Pirates

**Disclaimer: I do not own Talespin. But how cool would it be if i did?**

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"I guess the best place to start is when I joined the pirates." Began Kit "I was a hobo at the time, bumming a ride to Freeport on a cargo plane..."

* * *

Kit was hiding in the cargo hold, he didn't have to, the plane had a friendly fly mark, but he preferred to go unseen. The pilot was playing along pretending not to notice the bear cub. All was going smoothly when a voice came over the radio

"Attention lowly cargo-type pilot! You have made the terrifically terrible mistake of flying too close the _Iron Vulture_! Prepare to be plundered by the fabulous Don Karnage, which is me!"

Kit got up to look out the window and gasped as he saw an enormous birdlike airship, and three CT-37 planes flying out of its open beak. Normally Karnage would have taken more planes with him, but with the _Iron Vulture_ so close by it was unnecessary, even to the show-offy pirate.

Kit dived back behind the cargo crates, hoping he wouldn't be caught. Before long Karnage Maddog and Dumptruck were aboard the plane.

"Look Karnage," Said the pilot "I don't have anything you'd want, I'm just hauling deli meats and cheeses for a sandwich shop!"

"Disappointing." Declared Karnage "Well it is no gold and jewels, but why should I pay for food when I can steal it, yes-no? Get the cargo men!" He ordered.

"Aye Aye, Captain!" Replied Maddog and Dumptruck as they started grabbing crates, revealing the crouching Kit.

"What is this doing in the cargo?" Asked Karnage picking Kit up by the back of his sweater "Since when are people putting children on the sandy-witches?"

"Hey! Put me down, Captain Schnook!" Kit growled swinging his fists.

"Schnook!" Repeated the wolf "How dare you? I am Don Karnage, the most feared pirate in all the seven skies!"

Kit was about to inform Karnage that there was only one sky, and call him a few more choice names, but then he had a better idea "Wow! You're _the_ Don Karnage? I hear you're the greatest!"

"Of course, you hear this, for it is true!" Declared the pirate proudly "I am the greatest! I am the best! I am the most amazing, wonderful..."

While Karnage was busy rambling about how great he was Kit put his foot though the handle of the sword the pirate carried by his side and kicked it up. Once the cutlass was high enough Kit grabbed it and quickly sliced off Karnage's belt, causing his pants to fall revealing those heart covered boxers it seems like every cartoon character wears.

Karnage was completely taken by surprise, he immediately dropped Kit and tried to cover himself. Meanwhile the other pirates dropped the crates they were carrying and started pointing and laughing.

"I see London, I see France!" Sang Maddog.

"I see the captain's underpants!" Added Dumptruck.

"Nicompirates!" Screamed Karnage as he tried to pull up his pants "Stop your snickerdoodling and catch that juvenile delinkety-wink!" He yelled pointing at Kit who was running for the exit.

"Stay back or I'll cut off your tails!" Kit warned swinging Karnage's sword "It's been lousy meeting you, but I gotta be going!" He said jumping out of the plane.

"Quick to your planes!" Ordered Karnage "Catch the boy before he goes splat, I want him alive!"

Meanwhile Kit grabbed his air foil from his back pocket, fanned it out, and glided away "this could come in handy" He mused examining the stolen cutlass more closely.

* * *

"Wow! You really pantsed Don Karnage?" said Molly, amazed.

"And stole his sword?" added Wildcat.

"Would I make something like that up?" asked Kit.

"But if you escaped, how did you end up joining the pirates?" Asked Molly.

"I didn't escape" Kit replied "I thought I was going to but then out of nowhere, there was this huge gust of wind that sent me headed straight for the _Iron Vulture_!"

* * *

Kit screamed as he realized he was gliding right for the giant airship. He wanted to be going the opposite direction, but with out being tied to a plane he was at the mercy of the winds, it was all he could to avoid crashing into the hull, instead gliding right into the open beak.

Inside he found he found the rest of the pirates planes all lined up, as well as several of the pirates waiting for Karnage to return.

"Hey! Who are you?" Asked Hacksaw "And is that the captain's sword?"

"Pirate inspector!" Declared Kit thinking quickly "Just need make sure everything here is up to pirate's code. Guess I'll start with these here planes." Kit jump into first planed in the row "Hey, nice CT-37s! Too bad they're about to crash!" He started up the plane and jump into the next one as it started off, smashing into the wall. Kit jumped from plane to plane sending them all crashing, as the pirates ran around confused, dodging the planes, not knowing whether to stop Kit or run to their damaged planes.

Just as Kit reached the last plane, Karnage Maddog and Dumptruck landed their planes in the I _ron Vulture_. "What is going on here?" exclaimed Karnage as he tried to climb of of his plane without letting his pants fall again.

"That kid... he's been... smashing our planes!" Hacksaw explained panting "Says he's a... pirate inspector... but I don't think..."

"No you do not think, Idiot!" screamed Karnage, getting red in the face "Stop that boy! And get my sword!"

Kit started the last plane before jumping out and starting to run for it, stopping when another idea hit him "you heard him, get the sword!" he throwing the cutlass sending it flying straight at Don Karnage who had to duck to avoid being impaled. But ducking didn't help when his men, like true obedient morons, ran right over him trying to retrieve the sword.

"I am going to give that pest such a keel-hauling!" Karnage groaned as he peeled himself off the floor.

Meanwhile Kit was running through the _Iron Vulture_ trying to find a way out. He suddenly found himself in the mess hall where all the pirates he hadn't already crossed paths with were having a meal. No clever distraction plan was needed here, he simply did something completely natural for young boy in such a setting, he jumped on the table, grabbed the nearest dish of food and chucked it at the first pirate he saw "Food fight!" he yelled.

Fortunately the air pirates were even less mature than the average 11 year old and quickly began throwing food at each other, not even questioning who Kit was. Kit ran through the room ducking and dodging food left and right he was almost out when the other pirates burst in lead by Don Karnage, waving his recovered cutlass in one hand, holding his pants up with the other.

"Decease this foolish food flinging! And grab that rotten kid!" Karnage ordered right before a pie hit him in the face.

The pirates froze in their tracks when they realized someone had pied their captain. Every one of them was thinking the same thing "Oh ****, we're in trouble!"

Meanwhile Karnage was having difficulty getting the pie off his face, it took both hands to pry it off, which meant he had to let his pants fall again. As afraid as they were of the captain, the pirates couldn't help but burst out laughing.

"Stop laughing!" Karnage bellowed as he picked up his pants "I am going to hang you all by your pinkies! But first, catch that little brat!"

Kit ran through the _Iron Vulture_ with no idea were he was going, just hoping he'd find an exit, but before long he realized the pirates were in hot pursuit. He zigzagged his way through the ship, trying to lose them but they just kept gaining on him. Finally he had no choice but to duck into a random room and hope for the best.

The pirates came to a halt outside the door "He went in your room, Cap'n!" Declared Maddog.

"I can see that! I am not blind like a bat!" Replied Karnage "Hmm this runt is a crafty one, yes-no? _You_ will go in first, in case he has anymore trickeries up his sleeve!" He told Maddog.

Maddog gulped "Yes Cap'n." He opened the door a bit and poked his head in. There was a crash and Maddog fell back unconscious, he'd been hit in the face with a lamp from Karnage's bedside table.

"It should be safe now." Said Karnage stepping over Maddog and entering the room. He looked around but didn't see Kit anywhere, then he noticed a lump under the covers of his bed "Well, well, well, it seems that the baby bear has been sleeping in my bed!" he walked over and pulled off the covers to find... "A pillow?" He exclaimed "Then where is-"

Before he could finish the question Kit dropped down from the ceiling and landing on Karnage's head, scratching and biting.

"Not the face! Not the face!" Karnage screamed as tried pull Kit of of him, letting his pants fall once more, not caring anymore.

"Should vee be helping him?" Asked Dumptruck.

"The captain or the kid?" Asked Hacksaw.

"I heard that!" Yelled Karnage "Do not help! You ignoranimouses will only make things worse!" He finally got Kit off him, holding the bear cub at arm's length, the tip of his sword mere inches from Kit's throat "Let us recap," Said the pirate "You insulted me to my handsome face, stole my sword right out from under my torso, used it to depantsify my personage, Then tried to escape by jumping out of a plane and flying away on big metal croissant! You wrecked most of our planes, almost shish-kabobed me with my own sword, tricked my mangy minions into trampling me, made a mess of the mess hall, and caused me to be in the face with a pie! You have led me for a wild time chasing a goose around my own ship, smashed an expensive lamp knocking out Maddog, and attempted to maul my head!"

Karnage paused as he realize some of the pirates were still snickering at his underwear, a quick glare shut them up "Not only that but you have made me a laughing stock!" Then he happened to glance out the window and see the plane he had been trying to rob of it meat and cheese cargo getting away, now just a speck in the distance "And now you have made me lose my lunch!"

"Gee!" Said Kit with a nervous laugh "I've had a busy day!"

"Boy, I just have one thing to say to you!" The wolf declared

Kit gulped, this couldn't be good.

"I am impressed!" Said Karnage.

"You are?" Exclaimed Kit shocked.

"You are?" Repeated the pirates equally surprised.

"I am!" Confirmed Karnage "I like the cut of your giblets!"

"You do?" said Kit again, still shocked.

"You do?" Repeated the pirates.

"I do, now stop that!" Karnage ordered. He put Kit down, put his sword away, and turned to address the pirates "Men, in the past twenty minutes of an hour this child has shown more daring, skill, cunning, and brains, then all of fooligans put together have shown since you have been my crew! He should be very proud, and you should all be ashamed! Now go, I want to talk to the boy alone! And Dumptruck, do something with Maddog!"

"Vat should I do vith him?" Asked Dumptruck as the other pirates left.

"I do not care!" replied Karnage "Use him for a mop and swab the decks!"

"Yes Captain." replied Dumptruck throwing Maddog over his shoulder and heading off to find a bucket of water.

"What is you name boy?" Asked Karnage as he went to the dresser to get a new belt.

"Kit, Kit Cloudkicker." The bear replied. He had no idea what was going on or what to expect from the pirate. One minute he was seething with rage, the next he was praising kit for causing so much mayhem, who knew what would be next? He figured his best option was to cooperate.

"Cloudkicker?" Repeated Karnage "This a phony-baloney name, yes-no?"

"I don't have a real last name." Kit told him "I'm an orphan, I don't know anything about my parents. So I made up my own last name."

"Ah how sad, an orphan." Said Karnage attempting to sound sympathetic "Like the little girl in the funny papers with no eyeballs."

"Um, OK" Said Kit unsure how to respond to this.

"So Kit Cloudkicker, what is this board doohickey of yours?"

"You mean my air foil? I invented it." Said Kit proudly "I can hang out of plane by a rope and ride the air currents, I call it cloud surfing."

"Clever boy, and brave too." Said Karnage "Reminds me of my spectaculous self at your age."

"Uh thanks?" Said Kit not knowing whether he should take that as a compliment or an insult.

"Boy, how would you like someone to take you in, make you a part of his family, teach you to follow in his footsteps?"

"What are you saying?" Asked Kit.

"I want you to join my noble band of pirates!" Karnage told him.

"Me? Really?" Kit didn't know what to say.

"My boy, you have more pirating potential than anyone on my crew, with proper training you could someday be almost as good a pirate as myself." Said Karnage "You can be my protege, I will teach everything I know, starting with style." He produced a red bandanna and tied it around kit's neck "so what do you say boy?"

"Will you teach me to fly a plane?" Asked Kit "A guy like you doesn't care about laws that say I'm not old enough, right?"

"No, but I care that you are not tall enough to see over the controls." Replied Karnage.

"I'm not that short!"

"Lesson number one," Said Karnage "Do not argue with the captain, which is me! Now you will join my crew, yes-no?"

Kit felt strange about the idea of becoming a pirate, but on the other hand it meant he wouldn't have to fend for himself anymore, and it wasn't like he'd never committed a crime before, sometimes to survive on the streets he'd had to shoplift food, or pick somebodies pocket, he didn't like it but he had no choice. Besides Karnage would probably say he could fly before the law would "Alright, sign me up!"

"I thought you would say this" Said Karnage "Oh, one more thing my puny protege." He whipped out his cutlass and pointed it at Kit "If you ever humiliate me again like you did today, I will rip out your fur, one hair at a time, and then I will get mean! Am I making myself clear like the perfect crystal?"

Kit gulped "Yes, Captain!"

* * *

"And that's how I became a pirate!" Kit finished.

"Wow!" Said Molly "that was a great story!"

"Better than the radio!" Agreed Wildcat.

"Tell us one more!" Begged Molly.

"Yeah just one more!" Added Wildcat.

Kit knew full well that they would keep on asking for more stories even though they said just one more, but he couldn't say no "Alright, just one more."

* * *

 **So that's it for the first story. If you liked it let me know. More stories coming as soon I have time to write them!**


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